Hot Off the Presses scours the internet for newly published books from unknown authors, and saves everyone else the trouble of actually reading books to find out if they’re good or not. New posts every Tuesday and Thursday. This is meant for entertainment purposes only, not serious consumer advice. And there will be spoilers.

I learned that life is all about choices when my electricity went out and I needed to decide whether to eat my frozen quattro cheese pizza or Costco pepperoni bake before they went bad. I also learned that day that sometimes the choices you make all lead to the same place. Forbidden Choices: Choose Your Fantasy by Samantha Jensen is a CYOA high fantasy erotic novel where your only option is to get ploughed. Today’s review is going to work a little differently, because Samantha isn’t the only lady around here who knows how to work a gimmick. Since a good CYOA gives you enough information to weave the story you want, and maybe foretell some twists and turns, I will instead be doing the opposite. My review is in four parts, and you’ll just have to accept that you’re along for the ride.

Let’s get this over with.

Is it possible to get a refund for the time I’ve spent on your blog?